Tuesday, December 14, 2010

In The Eyes of the Vice Squad

Mum loved to write little poems... one of her many talents. Here's one I'd like to share.  It's a funny one she had written in response to my brother, Mike's critique of a cute story she'd written about a gay old goblin!

In The Eyes of the Vice Squad

I was writing a tale the other day
- a sweet, an innocent one
At least that's what I thought it was
- until picked up by my son

"You're sending this... To the Church magazine!
- Mother, are you going mad!!
I'll have to go right through this
- you really are too bad.

"Very lucky for me I saw it
- just in the nick of time
If this stuff fell into the wrong hands
- I would probably have to resign!"

"What are you going on about?"
- I was quite unable to see...
"This highly inflammable story you've done
- full of homosexuality!

Now here, you can't have a Queen
- it will have to be a King!
You can't possibly have all the 'Fairies'
- and out goes the 'Fairy Ring'

What's this you've put!? 'Bent old man'!?
- a criminal! That's out!
Your "Gay" old goblin must go too
- that's what it's ALL about!

"Mother! "waving his big nobbly stick!"
- now that it out - but quick!
For that has sexual meaning
- you really are quite thick!

Now this bit here - oh no!
- leaping high on grass!
You've even pulled the drug scene in
- there's nothing I can pass."

So, here I am, left with my story
- what's left of it you see
A pixie - An elf - A toadstool
- and a very bewildered ME!

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